A Different Perspective On Date Night

Posted on by Odette @ Dandelion Date in a Box
Blog Post - A Different Percpective on Date Night - Dandelion Date in a Box NZ

 

Article Disclaimer:

I am in no way whatsoever trying to make anyone feel guilty with anything written in this blog post. This post is my personal opinion and perspective and if after reading it you think I’m bonkers and you don’t agree, you know, that’s also okay.

A Different Perspective On Date Night

Generally when discussing date nights and why I believe they are important for any relationship, I get a majority of two responses.

1. Oh my goodness, I absolutely agree!
2. Lady, you don’t have a clue, do you? I don’t have the time!

The second response always takes me back a little, not because those people don’t have the right to their own opinion, but because I do get it. I get how life can run away from you; I get how it doesn’t feel that you can spare 5 damn minutes to do anything for yourself. Who do I think I am to say date nights are important if you can’t even take a shit without your kids’ faces peeking out behind the door?

My life might look a lot different than yours, my standards and my priorities might be different than yours, my culture, my hobbies and my opinions might be different than yours. But I can tell you one thing, I, in fact, do get it!

I get it! There was a time in my relationship where I saw my husband for one hour a day if I was lucky. We had complete opposite work schedules, when I was at work, he was home, and when I got home, he was on his way out again. This happened again and again, that was our life, that was what we needed to do at that stage in our journey. So yes, I do know what it feels like to not have the time to schedule in a date night with a busy schedule and a crap load of other responsibilities.

But I do know this: You will always be able to make time for the things in life that are important to you. You will always be able to fit in 5 more minutes if you really need to. If your kid has a concert that’s really important to them, I bet you would do everything in your power to be there, to support them. If you need to shuffle things around to get to that long overdue dentist appointment, you would do it, because you simply had no other choice.

Then why is it easier to say things like:
‘Life is too busy.’,
‘I don’t have the time.’ or
‘You just don’t get it.’
when the subject of date night comes rolling around?

Because I can tell you, date night does NOT, I repeat it does not have to be a 2-3 hour event, it does not consist of breaking the bank or pulling rabbits you don’t have out of your ass. It can a simple 10 minutes, you read that right, 10 minutes of your time. It can be a quick catch-up coffee, and voila, you made the time, you put in the effort.

According to the dictionary, yes I just looked that up, date night is defined as an occasion when two people who are married, or who have been in a relationship for a long time, go out together in the evening to enjoy themselves.

My jaw just dropped, I call utter BULLSHIT to that definition. Society has given us the wrong impression of what date nights are, and all the odd looks make perfect sense now. So to clarify I unquestionably DISAGREE with the official definition of date nights and instead I propose my own:

Date night is any moment where two people do absolutely anything they want to while spending time with the person they love.

Date night can be anything you want it to be; it can be absolutely anything you make of it, it does NOT need to be a 3-course meal at a 5-star restaurant, no sirree.

If you end up sitting on the ground fumbling with the munchkins toys and talking about what your favourite ice cream is, then that’s one pretty perfect date in my books. Date night is about making the time to catch up with your partner in a crazy world that can spin out of control in a matter of seconds. It’s about trying something different in life every once in a while, with the person you want to spend the rest of yours with.

You see you might get angry or upset when I say you need to make date night a priority, but you should also realise that I don’t define date nights as grand gestures. To me, date nights or days all intertwine with the other aspects of a relationship. It’s not a big event; it’s the moments we fondly look back on whenever life gets tough. To you, those moments might just be ordinary life, but to me, they mean that we put in the work, we made the effort, and we kept on dating each other, even after marriage.

Challenge yourself, don’t settle for sentences like:
‘Life is too busy.’,
‘I don’t have the time.’ or
‘You just don’t get it.’
but rather change your perspective on what date night means for YOU and YOUR relationship.

Start with 5 minutes wherever you can, and in no time those 5-10 minutes will give you a new spark of energy you thought you’ve lost a long time ago.

That’s all for now.

Odette
xxx

Worst Date?

Posted on by Odette @ Dandelion Date in a Box

My Worst Date - ReasoningTo celebrate the launch of Dandelion Date in a Box I ran a competition for one lucky couple to win a Coffee Lovers Date. To enter they had to comment telling us about the worst date they have ever been on. This might seem like an odd question for someone that wants to bring great dates to couples. But of course, there is a good reason behind it.

We have all had bad experiences with dates and relationships in general, but how do you respond to those experiences? Do they haunt you for life or are they simply seen as learning curves? Obviously, it’s not a “fun” or “enjoyable” period in anybody’s life, but I’ve come to realize that sometimes-bad experiences can have amazing outcomes.

That brings me to my next point, considering everyone that has entered has been such great sports about it all, I’m going to share the worst date I’ve been on. It’s nothing too drastic or too mind-blowing, however, I did end up getting married to that wacky guy. Hopefully, he doesn’t file for divorce after reading this post. 😛

Me and my now husbands first official date surely ranks on the worst date scale. At that time, he just recently moved from another city and we have “hanged” with a group of people. Then he invited me to dinner, just the two of us. I thought yeah, I mean he has the dreamiest eyes, cliché I know, but they’re like swimming pools. Sigh! Anyhow, we went to a local restaurant and like first dates go, we went back and forth on some pretty regular questions.

What’s your favourite colour?
What do you do for a living?
Why did you end up moving here?
And so on…

I can’t remember exactly what my next question was, but it sends him rambling on about all his ex-girlfriends, I mean like he didn’t stop for a second. He just talked and talked about all these girls, which are gorgeous btw. And there I was, regular old Jane, wondering why I agreed to this date in the first place. Thinking that this guy is a whack job and should probably not ever take girls on dates. At that moment I would have preferred the awkward silence that goes with first dates.

I looked at him and spoke these words: “Could you please stop telling me about all your ex-girlfriends! You realize this is our first date and you are kind of being a downer.”

Utter shock across his face as he realized what I was saying.

Fast forward 5 years and here we are, happily married. And you know when I think about that first date, I can’t help but burst into laughter. Heck, it’s funny thinking back on it now. That first date revealed so much more of the man that I have come to love more than words could say. It revealed a soul that couldn’t help but utter the truth and shortly after our date, I realized how purely honest he is.

Honesty! It’s a vital point on my “What I want/ed in my spouse” list. I would take awkwardness and honesty above a cheating charmer any day.

So, we had a crappy date, on the other hand, we’ve had some of the most amazing dates, right out of a movie. Would I go back and agree to the first date if I knew what I know now? Absolutely, because that’s life and that’s love.

It’s not all about the good, it’s when things are bad, that we really get tested and pushed beyond boundaries. In those moments, we learn to love not only perfection but flaws. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In short, I chose the question of your worst date, because in the end those worst moments help form us into who we are. Sometimes they even turn out to be pretty spectacular.

If you’ve had a terrible date and it still hurts, don’t give up because life is going to turn out to be more than you could ever expect. It might not be with the same person and in some instances, that’s more than a good thing! But see all the bad dates you’ve had as learning curves for better things to come.

Side Note:  For all of you who have shared your experiences, thank you!
I hope the future has only good dates in store for you.

That’s all for now.

Odette Signature

The Priority Of ‘Date Night’

Posted on by Odette @ Dandelion Date in a Box

Date Night Priority Post-ItMy Perspective on Date Nights

I don’t have a ton of statistics on hand and I won’t go into graphs and percentages, but I have seen this in real life. Heck, I have experienced it first hand. Yes, it is true, as soon as a relationship gets serious, as soon as you get married, dating tends to fly out the window. It’s like a little silent bell rings and suddenly life gets in the way. Schedules start to get overbooked and time for date nights are something of the past. I bet most people don’t realise the major effect it will have on your relationship until years later when all of a sudden you seem to have nothing in common and every little thing you do together seems like too much effort.

Don’t get me wrong! I am happily married to the most amazing man in the universe, reminds me our first wedding anniversary is coming up next week. Just kidding, I already have something planned! But if I face reality, we too neglect date nights at times. Not because we don’t want to spend time together. Not because we have fallen out of love or we can’t stand each other anymore. And I don’t even want to say because life gets in the way because that’s just a lazy excuse. I think the main reason we neglect date night is that we get too comfortable, we forget about all the little things we used to do while dating. Winning over someone’s heart isn’t an option anymore because that battle is already won.

Is it right?
Absolutely NOT!

Do you need to make a change to make date night a priority again?
Definitely!

It is of utter importance to keep the spark alive.
To straighten out priorities.
To make an effort.
Call it whatever you would like to.
Just don’t STOP dating that special someone in your life.

I get it, work gets in the way and there is no time in the world to plan something. Why do you think I started this venture? To make date nights a priority to busy couples all over New Zealand without having to stress out about getting time to plan something. I even personalise each and every box to make you feel like superstars. Because let’s face it, you deserve to feel special, even on a tight schedule.

To me personally, date nights symbolise snapshot moments that will be the memories I look back on when we are old. It’s those special moments I hold on to when life gets tough. When we fight over silly things and disagree about paint colours, those moments keep me centred. The memories you make on date nights are the ones you’ll hold on to, to constantly remind you of why you fell in love in the first place. Love isn’t all hearts and fluttery butterflies, relationships aren’t easy, marriage is HARD.

Is it worth it? Heck yeah!

I’m no expert, not by a long shot, but I know the importance of staying connected to your spouse. To keep communication strong, to step back from the busy everyday life and just taking a moment to enjoy each other and I’m not talking about sex. Not that that isn’t also vitally important and there will be some raunchy boxes up for grabs in the future. But date nights just tend to create sparks to relationships that have fallen into the habit of being in a rut. They reinforce bonds of commitment and also they tend to be pretty amazing stress relievers. Who wouldn’t want that for their relationship?

Pencil in a Date Night!What you can do:

If you want to make date night the priority it’s meant to be, but you are just packed with other responsibilities, order a date night in a box.

I will be adding new themes on a regular basis.

On a side note: I can make a personal themed request box, just flick me an email.

Side note number two: They make great gifts!

That’s all for now.

Odette
xxx